Why Do We Hate?
CULTURAL EPIPHANY
The long chain of holidays had loosened the rhythm of the week, leaving me drifting in a curious reverie. It was in this unanchored mood that I felt, quite unexpectedly, a longing to revisit Argo—not from the familiar comfort of my drawing room, but within the hushed communion of a cinema hall. A glance through the local broadsheet revealed that the film was not playing in any of the theatres I frequented—those bastions of polished projection and well-behaved popcorn—but rather at an unfamiliar multiplex tucked within a rather garish shopping precinct some five kilometres away, a place which, till then, had remained untouched by either foot or fancy.
Spurred by a strange restlessness, I persuaded a friend to accompany me. It was not enthusiasm on their part, but a willing amusement at my sudden fit of wanderlust. We set off, the drive itself winding through roads I seldom travelled—each turn already thickening the air with the unfamiliar.
But nothing could have quite prepared me for the tableau that greeted us.
The moment we entered, I felt as though I had walked into a parallel world stitched together by an entirely different rhythm of living. The scent in the air—heady, pungent, alien—hung like an invisible curtain between us and what we had known as normal. People milled about in garments that cloaked but did not adorn, wrapped rather than worn, their colours loud but uncomposed, like an orchestra missing its conductor. The voices, too, struck me: not hushed in anticipation or reverence, but pitched in exuberant disregard for the sanctity of shared space.
To describe the experience as discomfiting would be charitable. It felt less like entering a theatre and more like walking into a scene I did not belong to—an accidental trespasser in a world governed by other codes. My companion glanced at me, their lips curling into a smile that was both amused and sympathetic. “We could leave, if you like,” they offered gently, reading my silence more eloquently than any words.
I hesitated. Partly because I did not wish to seem fragile, and partly because I was, in spite of myself, intrigued by the sensation of being so out of place. There was something oddly honest about it all—unvarnished, raw, defiantly itself. But fate, ever the mischievous playwright, intervened. The tickets had all been sold.
We turned back, our footsteps echoing down a hallway that had grown quieter, as if the moment itself had retreated. On the drive home, something settled in me—not quite comfort, but a realisation. We wander through life like sleepwalkers on familiar roads, never straying too far from the world we have upholstered in our own image. But one slight detour, one incidental turning, and the veil lifts. You begin to see that reality—true, vast, unedited reality—is peopled with lives that do not mirror yours, scents that are not your own, rituals that do not fit your mould.
And perhaps that is the greater purpose of art, even when unseen—to lead us to the edge of our certainties and ask us, gently, to look again.
By nature—or perhaps by some silent inheritance of our species—we are drawn to learn, to stretch the frontiers of our mental faculties, much like ivy reaching for the sun. And yet, for all our lofty declarations about growth and open-mindedness, I cannot help but wonder: are we, in truth, so courageous as to abandon the velvet-lined walls of our comfort zones? Are we genuinely prepared to step across that invisible border and enter into sincere dialogue with those who inhabit altogether different territories of thought, custom, or conviction?
It sounds marvellous in theory—positively decent, in fact. But in practice, I rather suspect the opposite is true. We are, by and large, creatures of habit, of habitual taste and like-minded company. Our growth, such as it is, seldom arrives with the thunderclap of revelation or the whirlwind of transformation. It seeps in slowly—like rainwater working its way through stone—drop by quiet drop, over the long arithmetic of years.
Knowledge, I have come to believe, does not bloom in bursts but accumulates in layers. Brick-by-brick, we lay the foundation of a worldview—a structure shaped as much by what we allow in as by what we quietly dismiss. And so I find myself returning to the central, and somewhat uncomfortable, question: Who are the people, and what are the experiences, that truly sculpt this edifice of understanding? What is it, precisely, that gifts us those iterative, dearly-won insights which permit us to interpret the world not only as it is, but as we have chosen to see it?
Alas, the answer, when it came to me, struck with an unsettling clarity.
Not from the din of opposition, nor from the exhilarating friction of difference, but—almost embarrassingly—from the near-certainty of agreement. It is, in my experience, the people who align with us not perfectly, but with a ninety-nine per cent affinity—those whose minds echo our own just enough to feel like kin, yet challenge us just enough to keep us honest—who leave the most enduring impressions. These are the builders of our thought, the gentle conspirators in the making of the self.
Let it not be misunderstood—I do not presume to cast judgement upon the worlds that others inhabit. Each to their own, as the old adage goes, and I am no more the arbiter of truth than a mirror is of beauty. But if, in the quiet sanctuary of thought, I do judge—then let it be so. For judgement, when tempered with curiosity, is merely discernment wearing the cloak of humility.
And so, as I return to the heart of the matter, I begin to suspect that all of culture—all of knowledge, even—does not march forward in sweeping revolutions, but tiptoes forward, step by deliberate step. Like a child learning to walk, the human mind finds its footing not in chaotic divergence, but in the slow, steady presence of those just different enough to stir the waters—never to drown us, but to make us swim.
And when I trace the lineage of what has moved me—intellectually, emotionally, spiritually—I find that it is not the dramatic debates, nor the strangers shouting from across ideological chasms, but the quiet moments shared with minds nearly my own, yet delicately not. Those who speak not in thunder, but in sympathetic murmurs—like wind through familiar trees—altering me not with argument, but with resonance.
Yash Chopra
The last time I saw Yash uncle was when I was chatting with my friend Arjun (Sablok) and he stopped by. As I customarily do, I stood up immediately upon noticing him, and he kept his hand on my shoulders and said in his enamouring tone, “Sit, beta,” he paused, studied us in a fleeting nanosecond and went on, “both of you look like you are in a serious conversation. I wouldn’t want to disturb you both. Carry on.” That said, he left the room, leaving us with his light and feel-good aura while Arjun and I returned to our discussion of films. In no time we were sent coffee and some delicious sandwiches. That was the man, who was a legend and yet the most humble and down-to-earth human being.
Romance and Rilke
Dempsey Mason - Raw and Fresh
This is what Mason put up just a few days ago on his FB status that so aptly describes him: "A picture is the expression of an impression. If the beautiful were not in us, how would we ever recognise it?"
Politics – The Psychology
I have been abreast with the present Arvind Kejriwal noise that unfolds on various networks with utmost regularity. While some are seething with anger against the man, some others are adjudging him a champion. A friend in the media asked me today about my stance on it. Basically, I think that all political parties are same; only the symbols separating them. And politicians are only a few shades different from each other. That cleared, I feel that whatever anybody does these days is rather short lived, and one must be careful – lest it ends up yielding in long-term sores.
Lastly, one cannot get complacent and revel in the transitory comfort zone they might have made for themselves, or so they think. Life is full circle. One must beware that the demon you have created today will come back someday and bite you.
Depression!
Depression! Depression! Depression! That’s what I have been hearing from many of them around, and the news dailies too keep reporting about its effects with an almost steady regularity. This morning, I was reading that children too are affected by it. Now what sort of nonsense are the masters of information overload trying to plaster on the innocents? I can understand that children seesaw with respect to their moods, but depression is surely not something one would want to categorise their transition of learning and meaning to adapt to the novel surroundings around them to be. Adults can dip in their moods, but that’s all it is supposed to be – feel a little low, and then bounce back to being brisk once you’ve internalised and figured a way to beat the blues. Dragging children into it is something that I seriously think that the papers, media, and people at large, ought to stop doing at once. The least children warrant is drumming the depression beat in their heads.