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A friend leaned closer to me. “Mate,” he said in a muted tone, “everything good down there with you?” I gave him a swift scan considering that I have known him never to speak of such matters to anyone since we had grown up together. “Depends on what you mean with good down there.” I replied. He rolled the salt and pepper shakers on the table and looked at me once, and turned away, and then looked at me again. “Promise me that you won’t make jokes if I shared something personal,” he said hesitatingly. I went even closer to him than he was to me and spoke in a hushed tone, “I promise to advertise it on the BBC.” He laughed a little at my making a hilarious jibe at him and asked me whether I had felt any discharge of urine in my underpants at any point in my life. My answering in the negative made him break into a chuckle, “Ah, I see that you aren’t a wiper or a wobbler then,” he grinned mischievously, “you are a willy wanker.” Both of us laughed noisily enough to draw the attention of the people around and apologised for the racket we had caused.

Everyone is aware, men have it rather easy when it comes to emptying their bladder, and as far as the wipe or wobble is concerned, there are some men, who, for religious purposes use water, or, in the instance where water is not available, take refuge in a toilet tissue to wipe the tip of their tool. Intriguingly, this practice of water cleaning is now catching on with the rest of the wobbling populace too who reflect that it is certainly hygienic as compared to letting their dribs tumble on their shoes, splash on the wall, plop on the rim of the bidet, drop on the floor, plummet inside their shorts, jeans, chinos etcetera, etcetera. Yet, there is more than meets the eye with regards this, and a man being a man, may not reach out to other men to enquire if they are facing something similar, unless of course in the case of my friend, who felt unreservedly comfortable to talk about it with me since we had studied in the same class from our pre-school and shared a firm friendship over the years. 

So is there truly a correct manner in which to clean up before your pecker retreats to the original (concealed) regions of your anatomy? What about cases where some men find traces of urine in their underwear and pass it off as something as a ‘man thing’ on occasions where it regularly happens? 

For answers, I excavated the internet, and found varied layers of medical information, and without having to sound awfully technical, I thought it best to share the information that I had collated from some urologists, a friend, doctor and professor Dr Anup Abdulla, and then articles from various online journals, in as simple words as I could.

To begin with I would like to tell the men out there that if you find yourselves in a state where you are noticing a passive leakage of urine a bit more frequently, there is no cause of concern. These droplets are the onset of perhaps post-micturition dribbling, and that would mean an infection of the urinary tract where you could experience a burning sensation, frequent urination, and discharge from the urethra. Medically, this condition is termed urethritis – a bacterial or viral infection that causes swelling and irritation of the urethra, the tube that carries urine from the bladder to the outside of the body which is often the result of a sexually transmitted disease, or an enlarged prostate (prostatomegaly) in men who have crossed forty years of age. 

Another method that men use to clear their plumbing is by pressing the perineum, and it is here too that they sometimes sense a stabbing pain. (The perineum refers to the area between the anus and the genitals, extending from the scrotum to the anus.) Once again there is no reason for any apprehension as injuries, urinary tract issues, infections, and other conditions can cause pain in the perineum, and an appointment with your medical specialist would be able to set you on the right track. 

The wipers and the wobblers are not wrong, just that wobbling can be messy as discussed, and water may be a safe, workable solution. Word of warning though – in some men the microscopic pieces of the toilet tissue can cause a reaction: redness, and particularly for men who are uncircumcised, it risks them to a range of speedier infections. So keep a check, and get it attended to without delay should there be any complications. And remember that if you keep your sexual life less promiscuous, your private parts dirt-free, then the possibility of contracting the urinary tract problems are minimal.