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LIFE . . . OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT



This will sound completely fucked beyond belief, but truth is, most of us spew out all that smooth, sexy shite just to worm our way into someone’s pants — all whispering sweet bollocks and fake deep thoughts, acting like we are Casanova with a brain. And the second we’ve busted a nut, we are off, sniffing around for the next poor sod to feed the same tired, wank-stained lines to. 

 

It’s like a never-ending shagging carousel of recycled bullshit, and we keep riding it till we delude ourselves we have found the one. But even then — oh, no, we don’t stop there — we go and cock it up so epically, so fucking catastrophically, we are left sat there, dick in hand, wondering what in the actual fuck just happened. 

 

That’s life, innit — a relentless cycle of lust, lies, and fucking everything sideways till there’s nothing left but regret and a cold takeaway.

 

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