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A THIN LINE ~ Sushant Singh Rajput



Sushant by Mario Testino for Vogue





(21st January 1986 – 14th June 2020)



There lies a peculiar panic in the mood of the present-day man — a panic more profound and paralysing than any spectre of death or poverty: the dread of one’s own self. Not merely the horror of solitude, nor even of failure in the world’s eyes, but the subtle, gnawing terror of confronting the depths of one’s own feelings — the very heart of reality as it pertains to the inner life. We are trained from infancy to take flight from discomfort, to sidestep sorrow, to consider pain a form of fallacy rather than a solemn instructor. And so, when love — that wild and untamed herald of joy and hardship alike — visits us, we stand ill-equipped, too frightened to fully receive it.

 

The world speaks of love in rhapsodies and songs, books and sermons, as though it were a gentle salve, a warming light, an unbroken arc of sweetness. Yet this, as the poet Jim Morrison so unflinchingly declared, is nothing but a convenient illusion. Love does not merely uplift; it wounds. It disturbs the soul to its foundations. And the fear of this disturbance, the mortal dread of woe, causes many to seal their hearts behind iron shutters. They flee from the only thing that makes life worth the trouble: the full and harrowing experience of being alive.

 

Psychological gloom, contrary to the thin advice of contemporary living, is not an enemy to be eradicated but rather a messenger sent from the innermost courts of existence. It is, as Morrison wrote, meant to awaken us. To numb it is to deny life its meaning. To shun it is to exile oneself from one’s own essence. For despondency is no mere bodily sensation; it is the crucible in which the soul is refined. To carry cerebral misery, not as a burden to be banished but as a companion, even a teacher — this is the heart of what it means to be human.

 

And if one dares to hide it, to disown one’s own anguish, as if the very act of feeling were shameful, one surrenders their own soul to the frosty machinery of societal expectation. The world demands from us the pretence of composure, the mask of indifference, the convenient fiction that “time heals all wounds.” But there are wounds so cavernous, so searing, that time is powerless to dull their edge. These wounds become part of the very constitution of the self. They shape us, mould us, and at times, leave us burrowed, scraped and changed beyond recognition.

 

As I scrawled these rudimentary words, I realised that they now live within me, as they must in anyone who has stood face to face with grief. Words, as I have learned, are astonishing things — they can build worlds, mend hearts, and just as easily destroy them. But feelings, ah, feelings care little for the establishment of language. They arrive unbidden, raw and elemental, rendering all speech clumsy and insufficient. They leave you standing like a wanderer in some vast, uninhabited desert, isolated, bereft, and cold. Like some silent predator, dolour strikes in the unguarded hour. It disorients, abolishes the boundaries of time and space, and hurls one into an abyss from which, at first, there seems to be no returning. And in this abyss, the only honest response is not the stiff upper lip, nor the counsel of false expectation, but the most human act of all: to cry. Whether in violent torrents or soft, unbidden tears that come without warning — to cry is to give vent to ruth, to acknowledge its rightful place in the human heart.

 

I cry for Sushant. My brother, my fellow pilgrim of thought and wonder, my soulmate — not in the shallow, romanticised sense of the word, but in the truest and most unadorned fashion: the companion of my mind and my heart, one with whom the silent things could be spoken aloud.

 

He was a man driven not merely by ambition, but by an unquenchable thirst for the infinite — a seeker, in the grandest sense. His strain, I believe, arose from that most peculiar affliction of the human soul: the longing for what cannot be. The longing for impossible things. For a world just beyond the reach of fingers or fate. Nostalgia for a past that never was, yearning for a future that might have been, regret for roads not taken, and the bitter dissatisfaction with the world’s faint imitation of the true and the beautiful.

 

In the twilight of such longings, he and I would talk — about art and literature, science and sex, philosophy and music, the aching beauty of Rodin’s sculptures, the fathomless verses of Rilke, the delicate brushstrokes of Monet, the infinite skies above and the restless earth below. His mind was a constellation of these things. Our friendship was woven of words, of handwritten letters, of books exchanged, of midnight phone calls that turned into dawn. I remember, as if it were yesterday, those nights when the world was silent and he would call me: “Bhai, neend nahin aa rahi, yaar, chal baat karte hain, yaar.” (Brother, I am not able to sleep. Would you care to indulge in a spot of conversation, mate?) And the thought that I will never hear those words again shakes me to the core.

 

The world will speak of closed doors and the opening of others. Sushant himself once counselled me not to take the world too seriously, not to despair when it seemed the universe had bolted its doors against us. How then, I ask myself, could such clarity of thought not have shielded him? The answer, I know, is simple and yet unspeakably sad. He was human. No more, no less. And no fortress of intellect, no army of admirers, no gallery of laurels can fully armour the human heart against its own silent wars.

 

His demand for perfection — both in himself and others — became both his shield and his scourge. In a world awash with mediocrity, as Anand Ranganathan so aptly put it, he was a man searching for a library in a fish market. It was an impossible quest, and perhaps it broke him more than the world could see. The digital age, with its venomous chorus of anonymous detractors, drew his temper and wounded his spirit. I would often call him, urge him to disengage, to turn away from such trivialities — and like the gentle, trusting brother he was, he would say simply: “Done.”

 

And so, the haunting question lingers: Did we fail him? The human mind is fond of postmortem heroics, of believing we might have altered the course of providence if only we had acted sooner or spoken louder. But the unpleasant truth, one that I have come to accept with both humility and dread, is that we did not fail him. None of us could have saved him. His own strength, his own intellect, his own vulnerabilities formed a storm cloud so vast that no earthly hand could reach him in that final, fateful moment.

 

Fate — that old and unyielding master — called him home. Some will think this icy or unfeeling, but it is, I believe, the clearest truth. We do not choose the day of our departure any more than we choose the day of our arrival. When the hourglass empties, it empties. Whether in triumph or in despair, the journey concludes.

 

The film world, as I have heard from those who knew it intimately, is a strange and cruel playhouse where rejection is a constant companion. To dwell too long in that world can convince even the bravest soul that they are unloved, unwanted, and unseen. When such beliefs settle upon the heart, they shape sensibility itself, turning perception into prison. But Sushant — the Sushant I knew — was not a man who took surface voices to heart. He was too much a student of life to let the unlettered judgments of small minds steer his course. The world did not take him; destiny did.

 

And so, I find myself repeating the plain, terrible truth: I have lost a confidante. I have lost a part of myself. Words like “condolence” and “acceptance” mean little in the face of such a loss. Until now, I had thought I understood the bereavement of others, but the experience itself renders all prior sympathies hollow. There is no preparation for such a vacuum. There is no cure for such an injury. And though the living will carry him in thought and memory, none of us will ever be the same.

 

Loss, I have learned, is a dual ache. First comes the knowledge that the much-loved is no longer suffering, and yet, this brings no true peace, for we do not know the fate of souls beyond the veil. The second, and sharper, is the anesthetising absence in the world we still inhabit, the recalling of their voice, the void where once their laughter dwelled. We weave hopeful fictions to ease the agony — that they are “in a better place,” that “time will heal.” But beneath these phrases lies the unaltered twinge, which only faith and time can alleviate, never erase.

 

As Dickens wrote: “The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” And so I cling to that hope, dim and distant as it may seem.

 

I now reminiscence the haunting confession of Poe, another man who knew too well the cruelty of memory and the desperate escapes it inspires: “It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.” These words, I believe, fit Sushant’s heart like an epitaph, for he, too, lived by his own laws, indulged in his own beautiful strangeness, and ultimately could not outrun the shadows within.

 

So go, my dearest brother of the soul, and regale the world that now holds you with the richness and boundless love you so freely gave to us here. You are, and will forever be, that very love, wherever you roam.

 

 

WIPE OR WOBBLE




A friend leaned in toward me with an unusual solemnity. “Mate,” he said in a hushed voice, “everything all right with you… down there?” I gave him a quick but deliberate glance, for in all the years since our boyhood, I had never once known him to broach a subject of so personal a nature. “That rather depends,” I replied, “on what precisely you mean by ‘all right down there.’”

 

He fiddled absently with the salt and pepper shakers on the table—rolled them to and fro, cast a fleeting look in my direction, turned away, then looked again. “You must promise not to make a joke of it,” he said, with some hesitation, “if I tell you something personal.”

 

In response, I leaned in even closer than he had, and in the driest of tones murmured, “I promise to have it broadcast on the BBC.” That earned a brief laugh—his face flickered with amusement at my characteristically irreverent reply.

 

Then, lowering his voice still further, he ventured, “Have you ever felt, you know… a bit of leakage? Any unwelcome release of urine into your underpants at any time in your life?”

 

I assured him, with all the gravity the question deserved, that I had not. At this, he burst into a chuckle and, with a gleam of mischief, pronounced, “Ah, so you’re not a wiper, nor a wobbler—you are a willy wanker.”

 

At that, both of us dissolved into a fit of laughter—loud and unrestrained enough to attract a few disapproving glances from those nearby. We offered sheepish apologies for the disturbance, though neither of us could quite suppress the lingering grin.

 

It is commonly acknowledged that, in the matter of relieving oneself, men enjoy a certain ease of operation. The ritual, so to speak, is straightforward, and yet, when one descends to the finer details—whether to wipe or merely wobble—the matter becomes surprisingly varied. There are, indeed, gentlemen who, for reasons of religious observance, cleanse themselves with water; and in instances where water is unavailable, they resort to the humble instrument of toilet tissue to perform the requisite ablution at the tip of their person.

 

Curiously, this practice of water-washing, once confined largely to particular cultural or religious contexts, has begun to gain traction even among those who traditionally adhered to the wobble school of thought. They have come to reflect—quite sensibly, one might add—that such a method is more hygienic, especially when one considers the indignities otherwise suffered: dribbles that descend upon shoes, splatter walls, plop upon the rim of the bidet, form pools upon the floor, or worse still, soak unceremoniously into one’s undergarments—be they briefs, boxers, jeans, chinos, or what have you.

 

Yet, as is often the case with matters both corporeal and awkward, there is more to be said than what readily meets the eye. For although the experience may be widespread, the nature of man is such that he is loath to raise these matters with his fellows. Self-image, embarrassment, or sheer habit restrains him. That is, of course, unless he finds himself—as my friend did—with one to whom he has been bound by the long and loyal thread of friendship, having shared the same classroom since our earliest schooldays. With such intimacy, the usual barriers fall away, and what is ordinarily unspoken may be safely confessed.

 

Is there, then, a truly proper or correct manner by which a gentleman ought to compose himself—so to speak—before his member returns to the hidden recesses of its natural abode? The question, though modest in scope, is not without significance.

 

And what, one must ask, are we to make of those cases wherein certain men discover faint traces of urine in their undergarments—an occurrence which, though recurring with some regularity, they dismiss lightly as merely “a man thing”? Such a phrase, offered half in jest and half in resignation, serves more as a shield than an explanation; it spares one the effort of self-enquiry while cloaking what may well be a common embarrassment in the armour of masculine inevitability.

 

But it is precisely in such moments, when the body betrays its own imperfection and pride would prefer silence, that a more candid and reasonable conversation becomes not only helpful but perhaps even necessary.

 

In search of clarity, I turned to that great modern repository of knowledge—the internet—and there unearthed a multitude of strata, rich with medical insight and opinion. Yet, mindful of the tendency for such matters to become oppressively technical, I resolved to distil what I had gathered into something more accessible.

 

Drawing upon the counsel of trusted sources—a friend, a practising physician, and a learned professor, Dr. Anup Abdulla, as well as a number of articles from reputable online journals—I assembled what seemed to me a coherent picture. And now, setting aside the jargon which so often clouds rather than clarifies, I bid this information as plainly and intelligibly as I am able.

 

To begin with, let me offer a word of reassurance to the gentlemen who may find themselves noticing, with increasing frequency, a passive leakage of urine following micturition. Let not alarm take hold, for in most instances, such droplets signify the onset of a condition commonly known as post-micturition dribbling.

 

This is often no more than a minor inconvenience, though it may also be the harbinger of a mild infection within the urinary tract—one which might be accompanied by a burning sensation, an unusually frequent urge to void the bladder, or an atypical discharge from the urethra. In medical terms, the condition is called urethritis: an inflammation of the urethra brought on by bacterial or viral agents. This narrow passage—the conduit by which urine travels from the bladder to the outside world—can become irritated and swollen, frequently as a consequence of a sexually transmitted infection, or, in men of more advanced years, due to an enlarged prostate, a condition known in clinical circles as prostatomegaly.

 

Whatever the cause, it is not necessarily a matter for panic, but rather for prudence—and, if symptoms persist, a quiet and barefaced consultation with one’s physician.

 

Another method some men employ in their effort to fully evacuate the urinary passage is the application of gentle pressure to the perineum—that discreet region of the body lying between the genitals and the anus, extending from the scrotum to the posterior. It is not uncommon, however, for this practice to elicit a sharp, stabbing pain. Here again, there is no cause for undue alarm. Such discomfort may arise from minor injuries, infections of the urinary tract, or other physiological disturbances. In all such cases, a prudent consultation with a medical professional will likely prove both clarifying and corrective.

 

As for the perennial debate between the wipers and the wobblers, let it be said that neither party is inherently in the wrong. Wobbling, to be sure, may result in a certain degree of unintended spillage—as previously discussed—and water, for its part, offers a more thorough and hygienic means of cleansing, though it may not be universally practicable. A word of caution must be added here: for some men, especially those who are uncircumcised, even the microscopic fibres left behind by toilet tissue may cause irritation—manifesting as redness or inflammation—and, in certain cases, render the area more susceptible to infection.

 

Thus, a degree of vigilance is both wise and necessary. Should one notice persistent irritation or other complications, it is best not to delay in seeking proper care. And finally, let it be gently but firmly stated: if one keeps one’s sexual conduct within reasonable bounds and maintains personal hygiene with diligence, then the likelihood of encountering urinary tract issues is greatly diminished.

 

SOMETHING SWEET FOR YOU



A young man stood accused of having stolen a motorbike. Whether he had indeed committed the deed was never rightly proven. Yet, owing solely to the fact that he belonged to a certain community—deemed suspect not by evidence but by prejudice—he was seized, bound to a tree, and beaten with such merciless fury that life itself was scourged from his body.

 

The incident stirred a cry of righteous indignation among one portion of the populace, whose hearts recoiled at such barbarity. Yet on the other side—among those who had laid violent hands upon him—there was a grim satisfaction, for they had forced from his bruised lips the recitation of sacred words, not in reverence, but as a cruel theatre of submission. They took perverse pride in this, believing that his death, thus orchestrated, would stand as a dread proclamation: that any who dared to walk a different path, or speak with an unapproved tongue, would find themselves likewise silenced—by blood, by terror, and by the mockery of the holy.

 

To be outraged upon hearing of such an incident is no more than the proper instinct of any soul not wholly estranged from its humanity. We shudder at the sight of animals slain—even when such deaths serve the ancient and necessary order of the food chain—and we devise intricate justifications to soothe our consciences, urging that such grim necessities be restrained or refined. And yet, when the life of a fellow human being is snuffed out in broad daylight, butchered before the eyes of the world, the response—uttered with chilling ease—is simply this: He deserved it.

 

When one dares to express even the gentlest aversion to harming a breathing creature—or hesitates, with quiet reverence, to shatter even that which is lifeless—one is swiftly admonished: These are not the times for free speech. Very well then, let us, for a moment, concede to this assertion. But let us also peer, however briefly, into the archives of history. Pray tell, when have the times ever belonged to free speech? Has the candid utterance of one’s mind ever been without peril? From age to age, the voice of reason has walked on embers, its tread unwelcome in the halls of power or amidst the tempests of public sentiment. No era has embraced sensibility with open arms; no generation has lavished support upon balance and thoughtful restraint. Time and again, the voice of measured conscience has been stifled—not because it lacked merit, but precisely because it bore too much of it, and thus posed a threat to the fragile scaffolding of society’s illusions.

 

And so we arrive at the inevitable question: What has become of the world? Do those who stoke the fires of hatred and devastation truly fail to see that the inferno consumes them as well? That hatred is not a weapon one hurls without injury to oneself—but a slow, poisonous draught that corrodes the soul from within long before it ever touches its intended target? One wonders whether many would even venture a reply to such reflections. For we live in a time when philosophy is whispered about as though it were a ghost, and intellectual enquiry is pronounced obsolete, if not outright dangerous.

 

And it is precisely here that the field of moral psychology offers a glimmer of illumination. For its questions are as ancient as they are urgent: How do children come to understand rules, especially those concerning fairness? By what means do they distinguish right from wrong? Are they born as blank slates, as John Locke posited—waiting for the world to inscribe its lessons upon them? Or do they enter this world already endowed, as Charles Darwin contended, with the seeds of wisdom, the stirrings of empathy, and the flickering’s of a moral imagination already in motion? In pondering these questions, we begin not merely to search the minds of children, but to examine the soul of our age.

 

Professor Jonathan Haidt poses a question both incisive and unsettling: If morality shifts across cultures and through the passages of time, how then can it be said to be innate? Surely, whatever moral compass we possess must have been acquired in childhood—shaped by experience, moulded by custom, and impressed upon us by the voices of our elders, instructing us in what is right and what is wrong.

 

It is a query that strikes at the very root of the matter. For if moral truths are not written upon the soul at birth, but rather scribbled there by the hand of circumstance, what then becomes of the claim that conscience is universal? Are we merely echo chambers of the age and soil in which we are reared? Or might it be that the moral sense, though coloured by culture, springs from deeper waters—present in all, though not always sung in the same key?

 

Jean Piaget, one of the foremost minds in developmental psychology, began his intellectual pilgrimage with a deep fascination for the natural transformations of the animal world—marvelling at the mysterious progressions that carry a humble caterpillar toward the splendour of a butterfly. In time, he turned this fascination toward children, bringing with him a keen interest in the stages by which human understanding unfolds. His aim was no less ambitious than to trace the emergence of adult reason—so nuanced, so deft—from the seemingly primitive and fumbling thoughts of the child. He sought to understand how the cognitive butterfly takes wing from the larval beginnings of early thought.

 

Piaget was convinced that children possess a remarkable instinct for discovering moral truths. Yet, he also laid bare the peculiar missteps they make along the way—errors not of wickedness, but of innocence, shaped by a mind still awakening to the world’s complexity.

 

To illustrate this, Piaget devised a simple but telling experiment. He would pour equal amounts of water into two identical glasses and ask the child whether the two held the same quantity. Naturally, the child would affirm that they did. But then, with the gentlest sleight of hand, he would pour the contents of one glass into a taller, narrower vessel and ask again. Children below the age of six or seven would often insist that the taller glass now held more water, convinced by the mere rise in water level, unable to grasp the constancy of volume beneath the changing shape. The water, of course, remained the same, but the child’s mind had not yet ripened to perceive it.

 

What Piaget revealed through this and other observations was profound: the understanding of such fundamental concepts is neither innate nor simply handed down from adult to child. It cannot be summoned by instruction alone. No matter how clearly an adult might explain the principle of conservation, the child cannot yet take hold of it—because the soil of the mind has not yet been tilled for such seed. Comprehension, in Piaget’s view, requires more than information; it demands the convergence of age, experience, and a readiness of mind—a stage in which the intellect itself has been shaped by life into a vessel fit to contain understanding.

 

Piaget, ever the tireless observer of the growing mind, extended his cognitive-developmental approach into the land of children’s morality. With remarkable humility and devotion, he would lower himself—quite literally—to the child’s world, getting down on hands and knees to join them in a game of marbles. While engaged in their play, he would intentionally break the rules or feign ignorance, inviting correction not through lecture, but through participation. The children, in their earnest responses to his intentional blunders, revealed much more than annoyance—they unveiled the dawning of moral understanding: their capacity to uphold rules, to modify them in the spirit of fairness, to take turns, and—most critically—to resolve disputes among themselves.

 

This moral awakening, like all growth in Piaget’s theory, unfolded in discernible stages, each rooted in the maturing of the child’s cognitive powers. He discerned that a child’s sense of right and wrong does not descend fully formed from the mouths of adults, nor does it spring ready-made from within. Rather, it is self-wrought—constructed painstakingly through lived experience with peers, through conflict and cooperation, through the very messiness of life shared.

 

In Piaget’s metaphorical world, the learning that takes place through games is not unlike pouring water between glasses—repeated, observable, yet misunderstood by minds not yet prepared. No matter how many times he demonstrated the notion of fairness to three-year-olds, they, like with the concept of volume, simply could not yet comprehend it. Their moral reasoning, like their spatial reasoning, lay dormant, awaiting maturation.

 

But something remarkable occurred as the children reached the age of five or six. It was not sermons, nor adult decrees, but the wrangling over rules, the quarrels and reconciliations among themselves, that forged in them a far more authentic understanding of fairness. From such simple negotiations, they came to know what no formal instruction could effectively impart.

 

And herein lies the heart of what Piaget—and psychological rationalism more broadly—proclaims: that rationality is not a divine gift granted in full at birth, but a seed that unfolds through time, through trial, through interaction. Just as the caterpillar inches slowly toward its winged glory, so too do we grow into moral creatures, equipped—through the refinement of reason and the crucible of experience—to grapple with life’s complexities and dwell in harmony with others. Rationality, Piaget believed, is our nature—but its full flowering, the summit of sound moral judgment, is the destination of our development, not its starting point.

 

Piaget’s framework, though forged in the quiet domain of childhood psychology, lends itself with striking clarity to the broader stage of our troubled world. One might well surmise that it shall take not one, but four or five generations to recalibrate the prevailing mindset—for the spirit of our age is perilously steeped in dichotomy: ever for or against, seldom seeking the golden mean. This rigidity is no accident; it is the fruit of dogmas incessantly drilled into pliable minds, not through reflection but repetition.

 

Children, ambiguous by nature and impressionable by design, absorb the dispositions of their parents as surely as soil draws in rain. And raised amidst the fog of weariness and confusion—where the air is thick with grievance and fear—they will likely inherit not only the prejudices of their forebears, but amplify them. They will not merely echo their parents’ antipathies, but resound them with fresh intensity.

 

Yet history, like nature, abides by a certain rhythm. And as is the way of human development—mirroring Piaget’s own vision—those who grow up burdened by the excesses of their parents often yearn to become their opposites. Thus, out of the ashes of prolonged discord, there may arise a generation whose hunger is not for vengeance, but for virtue; not for division, but for harmony. In them, balance may be reborn, and with it, the long-lost moral clarity of a wiser age. Such a generation might raise their children not on the stale bread of hatred, but on the fresh manna of fairness, compassion, and goodwill.

 

True, none of us walking the earth today may live to see that blessed dawn. We are, perhaps, too near the fire to behold the spring that shall follow this winter of discontent. But even so, let us not despair. For though we may not witness the fruit, we may yet plant the seed. And with hearts turned heavenward, we may hope—nay, pray—that the day hastens when mankind shall be graced with the long-desired luxury of peace: a world not ruled by fear, but shaped by understanding; not hardened by violence, but softened by love.

 

One takes up arms, not in the spirit of conquest, but when the very roots of one’s being appear imperilled; one strikes at the throat only when life itself seems poised upon the edge of annihilation—when the law of the jungle, survival of the fittest, becomes not theory but imminent threat. And yet, by every measure of reason and fairness, the minority communities presently subjected to hostility pose neither such threat nor challenge to the dominant majority in any corner of the world. They seek neither dominion nor duel; they do not arise in defiance, but endure in quiet perseverance.

 

Why then does the majority, wielding the greater power and influence, so often behave as though besieged? Why do they, like the children in Piaget’s experiment, fail to perceive the immutable truth—that the contents are the same even when the vessel shifts in form? Is it so difficult to grasp that despite differences in appearance, belief, or custom, the essential humanity within is no less sacred, no less real?

 

And if, as so often declared, the minority is deemed inconsequential by the majority, what then explains the depth of this irrational fear and the frequent descent into cruelty? Chastisement, where due, may be comprehended—even justice, when applied with compassion, has its place. But what of the impulse to brutalise? Ought not the stronger to safeguard the weaker, as a parent protects the child—not out of pity, but out of the superiority conferred by strength?

 

Why then has the taking of innocent lives become a grotesque pastime, indulged without remorse? What is such savagery, if not the most pitiable display of cowardice? For to massacre the unarmed, the defenceless, is not an assertion of might but a confession of terror—terror that gnaws at the soul even in the seat of power. And what, pray, has one to fear, when one is already master of the land?

 

It is not the minority that threatens the majority, but rather the reflection in the glass—distorted by pride and prejudice—that renders the heart blind to reason. And if such blindness persists, it is not the minority that shall perish, but the very moral fabric of the majority’s soul.

 

Concerning the minority, one is compelled to wonder: what is it that renders them so unyielding? They are acutely aware of their own powerlessness, and one might suppose that such perilous circumstances would incline them to seek conciliation rather than confrontation. And yet, they persist in resisting the tide, as though daring fate itself. Why?

 

Surely they must perceive that, in truth, there is little to be gained by defiance, and everything to be lost—chiefly their very lives. Let us take a breath and view the matter from another angle: when we greet a man in his native tongue, not because we must, but because it brings him comfort, do we not regard this as a gesture of goodwill? Then what great harm lies in uttering the phrases demanded of you, even under compulsion? One may rightly protest that such utterance is not born of affection but of coercion, not of liberty but of domination. This is true. Yet in a moment where no victory is attainable, does not prudence advise that one bow, not in spirit, but in posture?

 

After all, what is being asked may not belong to your creed, but it is not entirely foreign to your heritage. Do not mistake this concession for a betrayal of soul; it is not a matter of ego, but of brute force. And when force—not reason—governs the moment, self-preservation and the protection of one’s family must take precedence over the satisfaction of making a stand. Better to endure in silence than to perish in protest.

 

Some, no doubt, will call such restraint cowardice; others, defeatism or evasion. Let them. Let the world cast its judgments as it will. Your task is not to win their applause, but to steer your life with discernment. For in the end, I am is of far greater consequence than I was. In times of duress, wisdom lies not in reckless defiance, but in measured endurance.

 

One must choose life above all—above religion, above politics, above the proud impulse to make a point at any cost. For while you may believe you are honouring your principles by standing firm, it is your family who must carry the burden of your absence, should you fall as the young man did—beaten to death for no crime, save for being who he was. Let not your final act be one that leaves your loved ones bereft. Let it instead be an act of quiet strength: to live, to safeguard, to endure.

 

In conclusion, I present to you the Hindi short story Lynching, penned by the respected Hindi scholar, novelist, playwright, and fiction writer Asghar Wajahat. This poignant work has been rendered into English by my dear friend Rakshanda Jalil—a distinguished writer, critic, and literary historian—whose careful translation preserves the original’s profound spirit.


When the old woman was told that her grandson, Salim, had been lynched, she couldn’t quite understand it. There was no expression on her dark, wizened face or in her old, misty eyes. She covered her head with a tattered cloth. The word ‘Lynching’ was new for her. But she could guess that it was an English word. She had heard some English words earlier, too, and she knew what they meant. The first English word she had heard was ‘Pass’ when Salim had passed the first class. She knew what the word ‘Pass’ meant. The second word she had heard was ‘Job’. She understood that the word ‘Job’ meant getting employed. The third word she heard was ‘Salary’. She knew what that meant, too. The moment she would hear the word ‘Salary’, the scent of a roti being freshly cooked on a griddle wafted into her nostrils. She could guess that English words were good and the news about her grandson must be a good one. The old woman spoke in a contended tone, ‘May Allah Bless them!’

 

The boys looked at her in disbelief. They were wondering whether they should tell her the meaning of ‘Lynching’, or not. 

 

They did not have the strength to tell the old woman exactly what ‘Lynching’ was.

 

The old woman thought that she ought to bless the boys who had brought such good news to her.

 

She said, ‘My children, May Allah grant Lynching for all of you...Wait, I will get something sweet for you.’

 

 

Farah Ali Khan by Subi Samuel



Sorrow, says prudence, makes us all children again — destroys all differences of intellect, and when confronted with such circumstances, the wisest know nothing.

My big brother Subi Samuel happens to be a sensational photographer that the world admires for his ingenuity. Couple of days ago he shared something by his friend Farah Ali Khan on his Facebook wall. The message that Farah had inscribed merited a mention here. If I say more it would end up diluting the essence of her words, so I am accompanying it with a snap of Farah that Subi had shot.


“My 13-year-old son’s friend in school lost his father yesterday to a heart attack. He further went on to tell me how Ansh had come to school and how they all spoke to him of everything except the incident because they did not want to cause him pain. However, I asked my son to go back to his friend tomorrow and extend his hand and tell him that he knows he is in pain, and if he would like to talk about it to him, he should, because pain expressed is better than pain kept within. I write this post out here so that we all can ask our children to help ease their friend’s pain, whatever the circumstances be. It’s easier to share joy and step away from pain, because we feel we will cause more. But most of the times it makes sense to reach out to the ones in pain for even though they may not say they need help, they do. We all do.”

Farah Ali Khan
14th March 2016
15.49






Disclaimer

The image copyright belongs to Subi Samuel and Subi Samuel Photography. Copying/Distributing/Forwarding/Printing/Sharing (electronically or otherwise) of the image without prior written permission from Subi Samuel is an unlawful offence.




Julian and Farahdeen


This is something that transpired between my buddy from Brazil, Julian and me, couple of days ago and I thought it was worth sharing. Here is the conversation as it happened on chat -

Friday 21st May 2010

23:49 Me: Juliano! There bro?
23:50 Julian: Hello bro. Howz things?
23:51 Me: Undulating bro. For the first time when life is rather calm, I find myself at sea.
23:52 Julian: ?
23:53 Me: It seems like I have lost focus. Like I'm stuck in this abyss.
23:59 Julian: Who is there to blame in the absence of yourself?
00:00 Me: I need to find myself bro. I have to!
00:01 Julian: You will, it's there, inside you. Just let the monster inside you come on out and play.
00:02 Me: Its more like I tease the scars that never felt a wound.

IDLE

00:43 Julian: How can I help?
00:44 Me: The more I try to avoid suffering the more I suffer.
00:45 Julian: To love anything is to suffer, my brother.
00:46 Julian: Bro, it may sound like a cliché but all you need lies within. Face the fear and you will create more courage. Be brave.
00:48 Julian: Suck it up, suck the pain. Love it. And leave it.
00:49 Me: Let me be my own psychologist. My own physician.
00:50 Julian: Not without my help though :)
00:51 Me: No doubt about that, bro. No doubt ever.