Namit Khanna
Falling Overnight - 2011
The Middle Finger!
When we men appreciate most unhesitatingly all that is worth appreciating, then why are we afraid as men to appreciate other men? I think that in appreciating anybody that warrants appreciation one must desist in attributing it to the angle of heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality. I seem to observe that this baseless typecasting is a rather recent leaning plaguing our society at large. We should not forget that by nature we Indians are warm and do not have these ridiculous traits of don’t say this, or don’t do that just so that it could be misunderstood in our day-to-day interactions. And say when something of this nature is directed at people who are being suggestive or leading on, then the people at the receiving end ought to be sensitive to such implications and deal with matters in the manner they deem fit.
THE ROSE OF REGENTS PARK
In the hushed halls of Belgravia, beneath the measured chime of antique clocks and the rustle of silk-lined drapery, two worlds—rival by nation, but united in soul—collided under the pale London sun.
It was at a diplomatic soirée, held in an Edwardian townhouse whose chandeliers were older than the nations they represented, that Haider Shah, a man of imposing intellect and brooding gravitas, encountered Meher Varma—she, with the bearing of a Delhi princess and the voice of muted sonatas, he, a lion from Lahore, whose stride bore the weight of political storms and whose gaze seemed to perceive beyond the veil of words.
“You speak of liberty,” she had said, her fingers cradling a coupe of Champagne, “but tell me—does it ever arrive unshackled from consequence?”
He had not expected such philosophy in a drawing room where most spoke in pleasantries and champagne-bubble repartee. He admired her forthrightness, the symmetry of her thought, her refusal to bend to the vacuous charm of cocktail politics. Their exchanges became duels, then dances, then something else altogether.
But love—or what passed for it in the walled gardens of the powerful—did not unfold gently. Their chemistry, elemental and undeniable, erupted into what the poets might call fate and what history would record as scandal. Fireworks were lit, not by celebration, but by the friction of two tectonic identities, anciently estranged and diplomatically disinclined to reconcile.
From this union, secret and searing, was born a boy.
He was named Aaryan—not Hindu nor Muslim, not Delhi nor Lahore, not entirely of this world nor the next. A son raised in a white-stucco Kensington house surrounded by books in multiple languages and silence in all of them.
Meher, having been ostracised by her own, wore her exile with dignity. She taught her son Sanskrit verses and Ayahs of the Qur’an. Her salons hosted violinists, exiled intellectuals, and occasionally, the disgraced—but never Haider. Never the father.
The boy, growing in silence, was told that his father was “a man much occupied with affairs of state.” It was not until his fifteenth year, while rummaging through his mother’s writing desk, that he found the letter—never posted—where she had scribbled, “He said a child born of such union would never be welcome in his Lahore, or in his life.”
No amount of ancestral velvet could pad the fall of that truth.
Years passed. Aaryan grew into a man whom strangers listened to without knowing why. His speech was precise, his carriage calm, his mind a fortress of empathy and introspection. He studied political philosophy at Cambridge, published anonymously in journals of dissent, and quietly took up his father’s mantle—but with soul rather than strategy.
Then, one October evening, a headline unfurled like a dagger on the breakfast table:
“Pakistani Politician Assassinated by Own Bodyguard: Motive ‘Religious Betrayal’”
A footnote at the article’s end read: “The attacker, a member of an extremist sect, accused the deceased of harbouring secular leanings and ‘personal impropriety’ deemed un-Islamic.”
The man had been unmade by his own hypocrisy.
But Meher, whose balance once seemed invincible, began to shift. Perhaps out of grief, or rage, or a deep-seated longing for order in a disordered world, she aligned herself with a right-wing movement in India. Their rhetoric, cloaked in civility, promised “restoration of Indian values” and “moral rejuvenation.” But Aaryan recognised the perfume of propaganda no matter how delicately bottled.
“I sought tolerance, Mummy,” he said one evening, voice laced with pain. “You found theatre.”
“You sought a father in a ghost,” she replied, “I found meaning where I could.”
And thus, the house once united in exile fractured anew—this time, not by borders, but beliefs.
The young man—no longer quite young—stood alone amidst the ruins of conflicting ideals. The world had given him nothing it promised, and everything it threatened. His lineage denied him, his country confused him, and his family now spoke in the tongues of populism and betrayal.
But Aaryan, whose name meant noble, chose not bitterness, but brilliance.
He became a quiet storm in think tanks, a ghost-writer for both sides of the aisle, a man whom no nation could own because he was born of all their errors. When his memoir, “Son of a Borderless Wound”, was published under his true name, it was less a confession than a benediction.
The chapters moved with punctilious poise: childhood in quiet grandeur; adolescence in intellectual rebellion; the letter; the refusal; the assassination; his mother’s alignment with those who might have lynched her son had his parentage been exposed. There were no lies. There was no venom. Just the truth, dressed in language so elegant, even its torment became beautiful.
And here I sit now, the book open before me, his words echoing like cathedral bells through my conscience.
Is it he who must be shamed, I ask myself, for being born of chemistry mistaken for courage? Or is it those who swore oaths of love yet fled when the terrain grew inconvenient? Is it he who must answer for the sins of longing, or they who traded the sacred for the strategic?
As Locke said, why do they complain of bitter streams, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain?
And yet, he drinks no poison. He distils wisdom from chaos, and turns rage into refuge. He walks the world with the stillness of someone who has walked through every fire and come out forged, not burnt.
But society, in its endless smallness, still dares to whisper the word: “Bastard.”
To which I reply—
Bastards?
No. Saints, perhaps. For saints are but bastards that God claimed.
Why Do We Hate?
CULTURAL EPIPHANY
The long chain of holidays had loosened the rhythm of the week, leaving me drifting in a curious reverie. It was in this unanchored mood that I felt, quite unexpectedly, a longing to revisit Argo—not from the familiar comfort of my drawing room, but within the hushed communion of a cinema hall. A glance through the local broadsheet revealed that the film was not playing in any of the theatres I frequented—those bastions of polished projection and well-behaved popcorn—but rather at an unfamiliar multiplex tucked within a rather garish shopping precinct some five kilometres away, a place which, till then, had remained untouched by either foot or fancy.
Spurred by a strange restlessness, I persuaded a friend to accompany me. It was not enthusiasm on their part, but a willing amusement at my sudden fit of wanderlust. We set off, the drive itself winding through roads I seldom travelled—each turn already thickening the air with the unfamiliar.
But nothing could have quite prepared me for the tableau that greeted us.
The moment we entered, I felt as though I had walked into a parallel world stitched together by an entirely different rhythm of living. The scent in the air—heady, pungent, alien—hung like an invisible curtain between us and what we had known as normal. People milled about in garments that cloaked but did not adorn, wrapped rather than worn, their colours loud but uncomposed, like an orchestra missing its conductor. The voices, too, struck me: not hushed in anticipation or reverence, but pitched in exuberant disregard for the sanctity of shared space.
To describe the experience as discomfiting would be charitable. It felt less like entering a theatre and more like walking into a scene I did not belong to—an accidental trespasser in a world governed by other codes. My companion glanced at me, their lips curling into a smile that was both amused and sympathetic. “We could leave, if you like,” they offered gently, reading my silence more eloquently than any words.
I hesitated. Partly because I did not wish to seem fragile, and partly because I was, in spite of myself, intrigued by the sensation of being so out of place. There was something oddly honest about it all—unvarnished, raw, defiantly itself. But fate, ever the mischievous playwright, intervened. The tickets had all been sold.
We turned back, our footsteps echoing down a hallway that had grown quieter, as if the moment itself had retreated. On the drive home, something settled in me—not quite comfort, but a realisation. We wander through life like sleepwalkers on familiar roads, never straying too far from the world we have upholstered in our own image. But one slight detour, one incidental turning, and the veil lifts. You begin to see that reality—true, vast, unedited reality—is peopled with lives that do not mirror yours, scents that are not your own, rituals that do not fit your mould.
And perhaps that is the greater purpose of art, even when unseen—to lead us to the edge of our certainties and ask us, gently, to look again.
By nature—or perhaps by some silent inheritance of our species—we are drawn to learn, to stretch the frontiers of our mental faculties, much like ivy reaching for the sun. And yet, for all our lofty declarations about growth and open-mindedness, I cannot help but wonder: are we, in truth, so courageous as to abandon the velvet-lined walls of our comfort zones? Are we genuinely prepared to step across that invisible border and enter into sincere dialogue with those who inhabit altogether different territories of thought, custom, or conviction?
It sounds marvellous in theory—positively decent, in fact. But in practice, I rather suspect the opposite is true. We are, by and large, creatures of habit, of habitual taste and like-minded company. Our growth, such as it is, seldom arrives with the thunderclap of revelation or the whirlwind of transformation. It seeps in slowly—like rainwater working its way through stone—drop by quiet drop, over the long arithmetic of years.
Knowledge, I have come to believe, does not bloom in bursts but accumulates in layers. Brick-by-brick, we lay the foundation of a worldview—a structure shaped as much by what we allow in as by what we quietly dismiss. And so I find myself returning to the central, and somewhat uncomfortable, question: Who are the people, and what are the experiences, that truly sculpt this edifice of understanding? What is it, precisely, that gifts us those iterative, dearly-won insights which permit us to interpret the world not only as it is, but as we have chosen to see it?
Alas, the answer, when it came to me, struck with an unsettling clarity.
Not from the din of opposition, nor from the exhilarating friction of difference, but—almost embarrassingly—from the near-certainty of agreement. It is, in my experience, the people who align with us not perfectly, but with a ninety-nine per cent affinity—those whose minds echo our own just enough to feel like kin, yet challenge us just enough to keep us honest—who leave the most enduring impressions. These are the builders of our thought, the gentle conspirators in the making of the self.
Let it not be misunderstood—I do not presume to cast judgement upon the worlds that others inhabit. Each to their own, as the old adage goes, and I am no more the arbiter of truth than a mirror is of beauty. But if, in the quiet sanctuary of thought, I do judge—then let it be so. For judgement, when tempered with curiosity, is merely discernment wearing the cloak of humility.
And so, as I return to the heart of the matter, I begin to suspect that all of culture—all of knowledge, even—does not march forward in sweeping revolutions, but tiptoes forward, step by deliberate step. Like a child learning to walk, the human mind finds its footing not in chaotic divergence, but in the slow, steady presence of those just different enough to stir the waters—never to drown us, but to make us swim.
And when I trace the lineage of what has moved me—intellectually, emotionally, spiritually—I find that it is not the dramatic debates, nor the strangers shouting from across ideological chasms, but the quiet moments shared with minds nearly my own, yet delicately not. Those who speak not in thunder, but in sympathetic murmurs—like wind through familiar trees—altering me not with argument, but with resonance.
Yash Chopra
The last time I saw Yash uncle was when I was chatting with my friend Arjun (Sablok) and he stopped by. As I customarily do, I stood up immediately upon noticing him, and he kept his hand on my shoulders and said in his enamouring tone, “Sit, beta,” he paused, studied us in a fleeting nanosecond and went on, “both of you look like you are in a serious conversation. I wouldn’t want to disturb you both. Carry on.” That said, he left the room, leaving us with his light and feel-good aura while Arjun and I returned to our discussion of films. In no time we were sent coffee and some delicious sandwiches. That was the man, who was a legend and yet the most humble and down-to-earth human being.

























