It is not the mingling of flesh and blood that makes us kin, but rather the mysterious alchemy of the heart—that invisible thread by which fathers are made of friends, and brothers of those who share neither cradle nor name. A family, in truth, is a curious little fellowship: a band of assorted souls meandering through the wilderness of life, borrowing toothpaste, disputing over desserts, hiding shampoo like ancient treasure, waging petty wars over bedroom doors, and yet—almost in the same breath—wielding the comfort of love with the very hands that inflicted the wound.

And yet, so familiar is their presence, so constant their orbit, that we grow forgetful of their gravity. We take them lightly, these characters of our private stage, as though the play would run on with or without them.

But today, in a moment of idleness, as I wandered through the shallows of televised distraction, I stumbled upon the trailer for Mukhbiir, Sammir’s latest work. And there he was—not merely performing, but inhabiting a character of great depth and tension. My heart, I confess, swelled with a pride I could scarcely contain. Yet it was not the craft of his portrayal that arrested me most, but his eyes. Ah, those eyes! They held the menace of a drawn sword and the mercy of an open hand. In one instant, they could wound; in the next, they could woo. They carried, as great eyes do, the power to terrify and to gladden, to command and to console.

How strange, how sudden, to see in him not the boy I once watched grow, but the man he has quietly become. Just yesterday, it seems, he was the younger brother in jest and in truth. Today, he stands with a stature all his own. And oh, how proud I am of him.

My Dearest Brother

On the matter of the exhibition—what a triumph of the soul laid bare!

To create anything truly worth the name of art is to undertake a perilous voyage inward. It is to stand at attention before one’s own conscience, which, like a silent and incorruptible sentinel, measures each gesture, each expression, by the standard of truth and integrity. Artistic creation, if it is to have any worth, must emerge from the crucible of personal trial—must arise, as it were, from having traversed the dark wood where no path is certain, and where no companion may follow. The further one ventures along this inward path, the lonelier and more singular the experience becomes—until, at last, what is formed is not merely a work, but a testament: an utterance that is necessary, irrepressible, and as near to final as our mortal means will allow.

And yet, how much of our joy is found not in the present moment—for the present is ever fleeting, vanishing even as we grasp for it—but in the recollection of what has been, or in the anticipation of what might yet be. Memory is not merely the storehouse of knowledge; it is the soil in which meaning grows. What we call pleasure is so often the warmth of what was, or the gentle hope of what is to come. The mind turns backward and forward, like a man surveying distant lands from a narrow ridge, and from that vantage it shapes both delight and sorrow. Thus, our happiness depends not upon the moment itself, but upon how we reckon the journey behind and the road ahead.

And I must tell you—every frame, every fleeting image, I loved. It was not merely seen, but felt, as if each bore witness to something holy and unrepeatable.

The Stay!

In a strange and quiet way, the experience was a kind of awakening—an opening of the shutters, so to speak, to a world I had not yet truly seen. Until now, life had passed before my eyes like scenery glimpsed from the window of a moving train: acknowledged, perhaps, but never truly known. But now—why, I cannot say—things no longer rest merely on the surface of my perception. They press inward, as though the soul itself has grown more permeable, more exposed to meaning than before.

It is as though I have discovered within myself a chamber long kept hidden—a place deep and still, which until now I had neither entered nor suspected. And everything I see, hear, or feel now makes its way into that secret place. What becomes of it there I cannot yet tell; but I know it is no longer lost. It goes inward, as if the soul has begun to gather its own language, slowly and in silence.

And perhaps that is what it means to learn to see—not merely to look upon the world, but to let it touch the innermost self, and there begin its quiet work.

On Departure!

We are, it seems, ever the observers—spectators of our own lives—gazing outward upon the world, yet never quite rooted within it. Something—or Someone—has turned us about in such a way that, in all we do, there remains the unmistakable air of farewell. Even in our joy, there clings that strange ache of parting, as though we are always looking back over our shoulder, always departing from the thing just now beloved.

It is like the man who, having climbed the final ridge, turns for one last lingering gaze upon the valley he has called home. He pauses—not merely to look, but to feel the full weight of what he is leaving behind. So it is with us. We live, yes—but as those whose living is woven through with the quiet sorrow of departure. We dwell among things beautiful and dear, yet our hearts are ever loosening their grip, even as we hold fast.

And so it was with me. To leave you—each of you—was no small wound. It tore, not with noise or violence, but with that deeper pain that belongs only to love. It was excruciating, yes—but only because the joy had been so deep, and the fellowship so true.

Subi Samuel!

As I stood upon those great stone steps at the Taj, facing the vast and measureless ocean, the wind came upon me with such relentless force that it seemed to pass through flesh and sinew, straight to the bone. There was in it a kind of ancient voice—restless, ungovernable, full of memory. And there, with the roar of the waters before me and the gale pressing against my brow, I felt, not merely the chill of the air, but the chill of something deeper. My thoughts, ever inclined to wander down hidden corridors, led me to a quiet revelation: that my long-held dread of the sea was, in truth, but the veil for another and greater fear—that of death itself.

It came to me, not with terror, but with a kind of solemn clarity: that death is no stranger to life, but its constant and hidden companion. It is stitched into the very fabric of our days—not only in the grand farewells, but in the little surrenders, the unnoticed endings, the slow relinquishing of youth, of illusions, of all we cannot keep. We pretend otherwise, of course. We live as if death were a punctuation yet to be written, rather than the faint watermark beneath every word. But perhaps the true art of living is to learn, little by little, how to die—to give things up with grace, and to meet the inevitable not with panic, but with peace.

And then—I turned, and saw you.

You, my brother. In that moment, as suddenly as the wind shifts, my restless spirit quieted. My heart, so lately adrift, came to anchorage. For in your presence there was something unshakable—a strength that did not clamour but simply was. You stood there like a sentinel at the edge of the world, and in you I beheld a love that mirrors the sea itself: vast, unsearchable, and without end. And I knew—yes, knew—that I need not fear death, nor the ocean, nor any shadow that may rise. For so long as I walk beside you, I am not alone. Your love, like the sea at its best, is deep, and good, and without measure.

With love that does not waver.

Your younger brother 

F

My acquaintance with Kannada cinema has been, I confess, both slight and serendipitous. It is not a world I sought out deliberately, but one into which I occasionally stumbled—much like a child wandering into a garden he did not know existed, only to find its fragrance unforgettable.

In my earliest memory of this curious world, I found myself an onlooker to the formation of Suprabhatha, a film helmed by Dinesh Babu. The producer, a dear friend of our family, allowed us glimpses into its nascent stages. The film itself—modest in scope—was woven around the life of a gas filling station, its narrative held together by the presence of only two principal actors: Vishnuvardhan and Suhasini Mani Rathnam. Yet, despite its simplicity, it hummed with the kind of quiet sincerity that often eludes grander productions.

I was but a child then, too young to grasp the mechanics of cinema, yet not too young to be enchanted by its process. The house would fill with music and conversation, for the cast and crew often paid visits. Among them was the drummer Shivamani, whose rhythm, both in music and in manner, etched itself lastingly upon my young imagination. Though I could not have articulated it then, I knew I was witnessing the convergence of many minds and hands upon a single, shared dream. That film, I am told, became a milestone in Kannada cinema—though for me, it was less about acclaim and more about atmosphere: the peculiar buzz that lingers when creation is underway.

Years passed, and the name Girish Kasaravalli came to the fore. His film Haseena drew my family to a private screening. Yet, as though in a plot twist written by the gods of domestic mischief, we had to leave the theatre before the first frame could flicker. Our newly appointed maid had absconded, leaving us to unravel the mystery of her disappearance instead of the director’s narrative.

It was not until 2008 that Kannada cinema reappeared on my personal horizon. I was in Gandhi Nagar, visiting a long-lost friend, when I found myself surrounded by posters—dozens of them—each vying for attention like street performers on a crowded square. Many were forgettable, some surprisingly artful. But one, in particular, stood out. It bore the image of Sammir Dattani—also known by his regional moniker, Dhyaan—the romantic lead whom Kannada audiences had come to adore.

There was something in that poster—a freshness, an aesthetic precision—that compelled me to act. I took out my phone and sent Sammir a brief message, expressing my delight in seeing his face among the pantheon of other stars, many of whom struck me as oddly cast. Some seemed too aged, others prematurely youthful. Some had charm without depth, others depth without charm. But Sammir—ah, Sammir—he possessed that rare fusion of presence and prowess, a harmony not often encountered in the cinematic realm.

No sooner had the message been marked as delivered than the phone rang. It was Sammir himself. He was, at that very moment, boarding a flight from Bombay to Bangalore, and informed me that the premiere of the very film whose poster had caught my eye was to be held at INOX that evening at six. “Come,” he said. “I’ll see you there.”

I hedged, of course. I knew hardly a word of Kannada, and even less of navigating a crowd of strangers. But Sammir had, as always, a gentleness of persuasion that made refusal feel almost churlish. And so, I surrendered.

That evening I found myself at INOX, where Sammir stood surrounded by admirers, a constellation of camera flashes erupting around him. Others mingled and posed, clearly at ease in this world of lights and lenses. I stood with my friend Prathibha, attempting to remain inconspicuous, when Sammir approached with a mischievous grin.

“Do you even know the name of my film?” he asked.

I offered a sheepish smile, revealing my ignorance.

“Neene Neene,” he said, eyes twinkling, “not a difficult name to remember. Even my Bombay friends got it right this time.”

A few moments later, with the practiced air of one who knows how to orchestrate a room, Sammir announced that the film was about to begin.

If one were to reduce Neene Neene to a single word—always a perilous business—it would surely be romantic. Not merely in its theme, but in its very essence: the music, the mannerisms, the motives of its characters are all dipped in the saccharine hues of sentimental affection.

The story opens on a hopeful note with Abhishek (played by Dhyaan), an earnest young man, receiving an award for best employee—a moment he shares with his mother in a flourish not unlike the grand gestures of a certain Shahrukh Khan. We are then spirited away to a café where he meets a friend, and together they indulge in that universal male pastime: pontificating on life and the puzzling creatures that are women. This carefree banter is interrupted by Nandini (Aishwarya Nag), whose indignant call accuses Abhishek of frivolous flirtation via telephone. And so begins a volley of calls and text messages—today’s curious form of courtship—which in no time blossoms into a friendship, and from there, rather swiftly, into love.

That, as they say, is only the beginning. The speed with which events unfold is almost vertiginous. One moment they are strangers, the next, confidants; scarcely has the audience settled into the comfort of their companionship when Abhishek is already offering his heart. And while one might wish for a slower burn, there is a certain charm in the unapologetic momentum.

What held my attention, however, was not so much the storyline as the character of Nandini, who is—at least for the better part of the film—rendered with a refreshing steadiness. Her portrayal, lighted with sincerity, turns a little melodramatic in the second half, where she is cast in the familiar mould of the self-sacrificing martyr. Still, she fares better than most.

Of particular note is the subtle performance of Ananth Nag as Nandini’s father. His role, though brief, possesses a quiet dignity. One scene especially lingers in the mind: the father, upon realising that someone has remembered his daughter’s birthday before he could, notices her wearing a bracelet gifted by Abhishek. Without drama or reprimand, he proposes—in the gentlest of tones—that she should marry a young man from London. Observing the tremor of her expression, he draws her aside and, with paternal tenderness, concedes: he shall arrange the marriage with Abhishek, on the condition that she stand by her husband through all trials, and never return to her father seeking refuge. She consents. And so begins a union that is soon tested, not by lack of love, but by the complexities of financial strain—a noble young man’s attempt to give his beloved the comforts of her former life becomes, alas, his undoing.

The film, though imperfect, has the virtue of sincerity. Many of its scenes feel honest, its emotional chords struck without force. Yet, it must be said that the narrative meanders at times. Certain characters appear as if conjured from thin air—chief among them a friend who emerges mid-second act, fights off some miscreants, and then vanishes, only to reappear at the film’s conclusion. The plot, like an old clock, occasionally ticks unevenly.

What was most jarring, however, was the shift in Abhishek’s character. He who had been energetic and endearing is suddenly cast in a darker hue, taking out his frustrations upon his wife. One cannot help but feel that the true villain should have been circumstance, not Abhishek himself. The director missed a chance here to deepen rather than distort his protagonist.

As a debut, however, director Shivadwaj makes a commendable foray. Sri Muruli’s musical compositions serve the lyrics, though they are not memorable in themselves. Dinesh Babu’s cinematography is deft, often elevating the material with a painterly eye. Sharan, as the friend, is a bright spot—not merely comic relief, but a pillar of loyalty to Abhishek.

Dhyaan is quite splendid. He possesses that rare combination of grace and emotional truth, the sort of actor who communicates as much with a glance as with dialogue. His smile disarms; his eyes reveal. One hopes future directors recognise and make full use of this expressive capacity. Aishwarya Nag, on the other hand, is a work in progress. Though sincere, she lacks the finesse that might have rendered her more believable as Abhishek’s beloved. At times, she appears more an elder sister than a romantic equal. A gentler presence might have better suited the role.

The film’s final act borders on the absurd, particularly when Abhishek, in a fit of despair, attempts suicide with a loosely slung bag over his shoulder. One is tempted to laugh—and indeed, I did. Unable to restrain my amusement, I texted Sammir in the theatre: “Why must one attempt suicide carrying a bag, bro?” His reply was immediate and disarming: “Haha, it’s just a movie, bro.”

And so it is. Neene Neene is, in the end, a film of diffident ambitions and heartfelt efforts. Though uneven in execution, it possesses a warmth and relatability that redeems its flaws. A family entertainer, no doubt, and one that leaves the viewer, if not profoundly moved, at least pleasantly entertained.

As I walked down the street today, it struck me—suddenly and with quiet force—that each passing glance exchanged with a stranger is no trifling occurrence. There is, I believe, a spiritual weight to such moments, however brief, as if the invisible cords that bind all souls are tugged ever so gently when our eyes meet. In that instant—so brief the clock scarcely marks it—a silent transaction occurs: a mysterious mingling of two lives, each carrying within it a world of joys, sorrows, longings, and fears.  

We pass one another like stars in the night—distant, burning, sovereign in our own orbits—and yet, for a flicker of time, our light touches. And though we part without a word, something unspoken has transpired. It is not merely the brush of vision, but the subtle acknowledgment of shared humanity—souls brushing at the edge of eternity. There is, I think, a sacred cost in such moments. For in that glancing contact, each soul, however unknowingly, surrenders something of itself—fragile, irreplaceable, and perhaps eternal.

As with many of the finer things in life, the beauty of tension-free personal relationships lies chiefly in this: the quiet, unassuming miracle of connection. It is not merely the exchange of words, but the communion of souls—a subtle harmony of minds and hearts that finds its rhythm not in the noise of constant speech, but in the understanding that lies beneath it. When such communication falters—when it becomes strained, hesitant, or altogether absent—the emotional toll it exacts is far from trivial. Indeed, it can be devastating, for man was not made for isolation, but for fellowship.

In our most earnest friendships, we share not only laughter and time, but the fragile hopes and unspoken longings that dwell deep within us. We commit ourselves to one another, often subconsciously, with the expectation—not always reasonable, but profoundly human—that some of our unfulfilled desires will find their home in this relationship. Some of these are met through the other’s kindness or understanding, and some we, in turn, satisfy by giving of ourselves. It is a mutual exchange of invisible gifts.

But when this quiet reciprocity ceases—when empathy is replaced with indifference, or clarity with confusion—wounds are easily inflicted, often unintentionally. Misunderstandings, small in origin, become giants in retrospect, and what might have been resolved with a word becomes a wound festering in silence. Estrangement follows, not with a trumpet blast but with a long, slow drift. And then we find ourselves longing—not merely for a return to the past, but to a state of grace: a time when conversation flowed freely, unguarded and true, and when mutual understanding required neither explanation nor apology. There was then a sense of balance, a settled warmth in the heart, like sunlight on still water.

Yet, it must be said—every story does not unfold like a fairy tale, does it? Life, with all its myriad demands, does not conspire to preserve our friendships in perpetual bloom. It taxes our time, tests our patience, and often leaves behind traces of weariness upon even the most cherished bonds. The seasons change, and so too do we.

And still, hope remains. Just as the stars continue their vigil above us, even when veiled by the clouds of night, so too does the possibility of renewal in our relationships persist—quiet, steadfast, unseen but not absent. The darkness of misunderstanding does not extinguish the light of affection; it merely conceals it for a time. Reconciliation, though it may ask humility of us, is never beyond reach.

It was late on the night of January the twenty-second when, quite by accident, I came upon the news. I had returned home, weary in body but alert in mind, and as I logged into my email, a headline flickered across the screen like a sudden shadow across the soul: “Heath Ledger found dead in his Manhattan apartment.” For a moment, I suspected some crude hoax, some distasteful ploy to stir anticipation for a forthcoming film. Surely, I thought, this must be a mistake. But as I clicked on the accompanying footage—his father’s face contorted in bewildered grief, struggling to speak of the unspeakable—my doubt gave way to an ache, a slow, spreading disquiet that has not left me since.

There are losses that touch us more intimately than we expect, not because we knew the departed in any literal sense, but because they had, through their art or their spirit, made themselves quietly at home in our imaginations. Heath was one of those few. I have always been, perhaps unreasonably, exacting in my admiration for actors. Having grown up amidst artists—many of them more known for the public light that surrounded them than for the steady flame that animated their work—I learned early to see past the glitter and into the craft. It takes more than charm to move me; it takes truth.

And truth, I found, lived in Heath Ledger.

There was something wonderfully contrary in him: an ability to plunge headlong into a role and yet remain disarmingly unselfconscious, as if the act of performance were not performance at all but revelation. He never relied upon the easy coin of charisma; instead, he traded in subtler riches—the flicker of doubt behind the eyes, the curl of thought at the corner of the mouth, the strange music of sincerity in a world too easily pleased by spectacle. He was, as The New York Times so aptly named him, a Prince of Intensity with a Lightness of Touch. And that is no small praise, for it is the lightness of touch that is hardest won.

He had the kind of beauty that could have made him lazy, and the fame that could have made him hollow—but he refused both. He seemed to understand that art is not indulgence but offering, not posture but presence. In every role, whether brooding or joyful, erratic or noble, he gave of himself in a way that made it hard to look away. And for those of us who watched closely, he became something more than a performer: he became a mirror, reflecting something tender and true about our own humanity.

It is a cruel thing, the caprice of mortality. Death does not pause for promise. It does not negotiate with talent or intention. My dear friend, an Oscar winner director of great renown, had met with Heath merely five days before his passing—filled with plans, eager to begin a new collaboration, only to find the door shut before the journey had begun. Tragedy, when it strikes at such a moment, feels not only like loss but theft.

And so, we are left with a sense not only of mourning but of incompletion. He was not merely young; he was unfinished. His greatness was still forming, still unfolding, and already it had eclipsed many. What might have been, we will never know. But what he gave us in the time he had—those rare performances etched with insight and risk—will remain. We grieve not just the man, but the future he carried, the unwritten chapters of a story we were all so eager to read.

In the end, there are lives that blaze for a short time but leave a warmth that lingers. Heath Ledger was such a flame. His absence is keenly felt, not simply for what he did, but for who he was becoming. And though the curtain fell too soon, the stage he left behind bears the mark of something sacred: the unrepeatable presence of one who gave his art with honesty and soul.

Farahdeen: (1:48:42 AM)  

Does this make any sense, bro?  

— Life, at its very marrow, is steeped in darkness. We soothe ourselves with the notion that there is light—yes, light indeed, but only of the artificial sort: the glow of electricity, not the radiance of the soul.

Farahdeen: (1:49:01 AM)  

Just a thought. Thinking of putting it up on the blog. What say?

Julian: (1:50:54 AM)  

I’d be inclined to complement it thus:  

— For the shadows we dread and dwell within are not without purpose; they give birth to a counterfeit light—a light not of knowledge but of ignorance cloaked in comfort. And in that illusion, we learn to fear the dark less than the truths it might reveal.